Autumn

Welcome to my newly minted blog… A fresh start in which to sort through my thoughts; to sort through the many hundred documents of collated short stories, poems, and musings I have electronically backed up, and a myriad of other musings that are yet to be birthed, I am sure… So to you, reader, welcome. I hope you find some meaning in these pages and words. As they say in the tradition of Kundalini yoga, Sat Nam; The Truth that I am, recognises and honors the Truth in you.

“If you’re doing it right, presence, rather than detaching you, sensitises you to your environment. It puts you smack-dab in the discomfort, the disagreeability, the pain, the awkwardeness, and the contradiction — this is where you can grow more skilled at meeting life where it’s at, rather than how you’d prefer it to be. In other words, allowing the full spectrum of events to be included in belonging, rather than mounting resistance to them. In this field of attentiveness, distance is alchemised into intimacy.” – Toko-Pa Turner.

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Autumn, or Fall as it is referred to in the Northern Hemisphere, has officially welcomed itself to Earth with a wild and furious beauty. Despite having been Autumn for a little under six weeks, this past week has seen an unseasonally rare heatwave in the South Eastern states of Australia, followed by several days of black and rolling storms and rain flurries.

Indeed, since the Full Moon in …? over the Easter long weekend, it has been a wild two and a half weeks in my life, and I have been presented with messages from my body and soul about where in my body I am holding on, where this manifests in my life, and what it is time to sort out. It turns out, there is a rather lot to sort out, and I am not particularly good at this. I find myself in a heightened state of self-awareness and clarity, alongside a deepening sense of expulsivity.

With an uncanninly timed nudge from the Universe to purchase a new car just before Easter, an experience of radical self-acceptance and freedom in the bush during the Easter full moon, a renewing respect for myself has emerged. No longer can I coast through life and shove my problems by the wayside – the Universe is slowly but steadily presenting me with situation after situation where I am forced to sort through my shit, both figuratively and literally.

After the weekend in the bush, I fell ill with what my partner has been ill with for a couple of weeks. Instead of pushing through, I felt a deep calling to nourish my self and heeded this in my daily actions. In doing so, I stumbled into a cleanse somewhat unconciously and in doing so have discovered many a thing about what my body needs and desires to move through this cosmic sludge at this time. Warm, wet and nourishing foods. Lower stimulation. A call to stillness, and a call to clear out. To clear out rooms, to clear out memories, to let go of old dreams, to clear out my body tissues.. and I notice that I have a tendency to pull things out, examine them, discard some and simply displace, or replace, the others. This is an incomplete process, and an entrenched habit I am being called to observe and to love at the moment. Perhaps with time and loving attention, this too will shift.

That is all from me now.

Blessings to you, from me, in the midst of this Autumn.
May you feel loved, safe, and holy.

Sat Nam.

Daisy.

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